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People still want to be in relationships, but they don't want to be settling. The courtship rites of this generation of urban singles seem to borrow from the mores of their grandmothers in the 's date lots of boys; smooch, spoon, nuzzle or neck to your heart's content, but hold out for that pledge pin from Mr. Right as much as from those of their mothers' love-the-one-you're-with 70's. Whiffen said. Yes, there are conquests, but there should not be too many of them.

Few women would want to go over 20, or even 15, Ms. Babbit said, because they would "think of themselves as big sluts. Lavinthal, an editor at Cosmopolitan, even as she conceded that the title of her book had racy overtones. It might come as a surprise that anyone under the age of 29 would need a definition for a term that has grown as ubiquitous in youth culture as customized ring tones. Still, the back cover of "The Hook-up Handbook" makes a stab at it: But you have a secret: What will you do about it? Let me fulfill your desires.

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