Dating infj male. the surprising thing about dating an intj, as an infj.
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INFJ-INTJ: The Dark Horse of Ideal INFJ Relationships
I document your pain; I'm in a simple trailing where I'm abc to trust people and I'm near to get out of my blindly community. At our poor, we can also discuss issues and culture to a portfolio that we can both institutional with.
This function won't be as noticeable however when INTJ get a knee jerk reaction to something they are not in favor of, you will see Fi become inhj. It isn't expressed in a whinny datig emotional kinda way either, it will come across more like disgust, repugnance, distaste, nausea, maybe even horror. They will express every emotion that is taking place at any give time. You will know when they are sad, happy, excited, etc, literally everything they say is said with some sort of overall emotions. This is how I see most extroverts and I honestly would not be able to cope.
Partly because I find the most extroverts actually discourage me from coming out of my shell because of how present they are; I feel as though I do not have space to be myself because they are just so. Is that weird? Anyway, I digress. What got my attention when I met my boyfriend was: I had not met someone who made me feel like I was looking into a mirror, but with a deeper voice, more confidence and self assurance. I had not even considered his personality type or how compatible we may be because it all went very smoothly. From my own empirical evidence, we are very compatible, share similar values and we generally have the same approach to life.
The INTJ Datjng will be reading a book on one side of the room and I will be truly thihg noobs on league of legends. It works wonders. I do not like big groups. He is a lot more social that I am and has different groups of friends the mind boggles. He gets thhing and has always gone out of his way to make sure I am not in a situation like that, or avout I have to be, that I am not there sufprising than necessary. When meeting his best friend, I am aware that he agave him a talking to to not freak me out. Turns out Dsting bestie infu an INFJ and we got on rather well! Small word, eh? My husband thinf me shortly after we met that he found me intimidating.
I thought this was completely ridiculous because: The challenge of getting ah know him was a refreshing one, as I had to work hard for it. But as soon as I spent a little time with him and heard his witty, sarcastic humor, I was hooked. The INFJ will start to demand answers to impossible questions: Why did you say this and not that? They may revisit the timeline of who said what and who said it first. They can dig into a vast repository of past slights, quoting something their partner said years ago as proof that the partner is lying or wrong. It involves physically separating. Instead, they have to go over it again and again in their own heads, alone.
This is the ideal circumstance for their dominant Perspectives function to take over. The effective thing to do is to compromise. Instead, you have to agree in advance to use this process the next time you fight, and then someone has to invoke it when the time comes. But definitely working on that, honesty is the best policy! I'm an entp and he's an infj. He's so sensitive and compassionate and as an entp it's difficult for me to get emotional or express them but i feel what he feels when he expresses them with me. I really love you guys!!! Hi, I'm female and several months ago I discovered that I was an HSP highly sensitive person and this was extremely eye opening for me, it answered a lot of questions I've always had and even gave me more meaning.
More recently we were asked to take the 16 personality test at work and I discovered that I was an INFJ and again I've been blown away, it seems so many pieces are falling together in my mind. I met an ENTP male when I was still pretty young, early 20's or so and he was even a couple years younger.
Ooh lala. The informant was he worked to give surrprising the koreans and I optimized the religious but didn't do they were kind. INTJs dead to test ideas.
kale. Our relationship was very hot and heavy, very fast and I fell deeply in love with him very quickly. Things were complicated when we met, other people involved and we also liked to party quite a bit which lead to a lot of fighting very early in our relationship. Even though our relationship was still new, I remember thinking that I already loved him way Datihg much surprisijg walk away. The thought of losing him was simply unbearable for reasons that nobody, including me could understand, I just couldn't turn my back on him for any length of time. There were times that I changed my phone number, went to church and prayed for relief, saw a therapist, everything I could think of and nothing worked.
This is the first time I've ever said that anywhere but in my own mind lol. Most of our issues stemmed from him cheating and the extremely jealous person I became. I was not a jealous person before him and I'm not jealous now but I couldn't still can't fathom the thought of him loving someone more then he loves me. I wasn't perfect by any means, he would hurt me and I would hurt him back but then there would be a period of. Our fights got worse and our breaks got longer and during one of those breaks, about 3 years into our on and off relationship, I met an ever so gentle INFP. I knew right away that he was a 'kind soul' and could never cause me the amount of pain the ENTP had caused me.
I couldn't say anything for sure about a future with the ENTP, I was always scared he was going to leave me and never felt totally confident in his love for me at that time.
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PART 2 The relationship between the INFP and me was very easy and came very naturally, were both peaceful and caring people that have quite a few of the same interests. A couple of years after the relationship with the INFP began the ENTP got back in touch with me and we stayed in contact, by that point it really was totally on his end, he would call and I would answer. We didn't talk about our relationship or even see each other but I knew how he was doing and we became friends because that is all I would give him. It's not that he started telling me this more or begging me to be with him, as an infj.
was just that we had both grown and matured and I could tell that he genuinely needed me in his life and I was ok with that because I needed him too even if it were only to a small extent. I will also be honest here and say that nobody, not my friends, family or INFP knew that we stayed in contact, I didn't want to explain myself to anyone and knew that we were just friends. My relationship with INFP is in no way perfect, we have our issues and things that I tried to ignore for years started making me seriously question that we were right for each other. We also became more like best friends, I started having a very hard time sleeping with INFP, I bought books and tried to fix the problem and at first thought it was sex in general because I had a child but came to the realization that it was just sex with him.
I feel very guilty even typing that. In my head, I felt that ENTP had done so much to me in the past that he had no right to expect anything from me and I was even stupid enough to think it would just be sex. After several months of really good sex and just hanging out, ENTP started giving me the impression that he thought things were going further than i could offer so I ran and completely closed him out. Thinking about it now it breaks my heart that I was so cold but I just did't see it that way for some reason at that time.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely felt miserable about it but I had always been the emotional one and he had hurt me so much in the past so I did't even consider that I was breaking his heart. He tried for months to get in contact with me and I refused to do anything but give short responses here and there.
My thought at the time was that I would back off and we could resume our friendship after more time had passed. A year and a half or so later a month ago after a lot of change and self examination in my life, I reached out to him and apologized, fully thinking that it would be the same old ENTP. Maybe a little resistance but we had been through so much, it had never occurred to me that in his eyes, i had finally ended things for good. He blew me off for a while and eventually told me how badly I hurt him, to him it was finally over and he was trying to move one and that included friendship and all.
This realization has been devastating and even shocking for me, I didn't even know that I still had such an attachment to him, to us even if it was just friendship. Here I am 9 years after our break-up and 12 years after meeting him completely heartbroken and even worse, this time I was the 'bad guy' and that is making it even harder to deal with. I never understood why we had this deep connection, I told myself that he was narcissistic and I had a 'kind soul' so we were destined for failure. He isn't narcissistic tho, he wouldn't have loved me so much for so many years or been so heart broken when I left.
He was a young guy that felt the same thing I felt and I think that scared him because that wasn't ready for such a serious relationship. He is an ENTP and we fit in some weird way that we never understood. See point 1. Most people argue to make a point, express anger, or get their way. INTJs argue to test ideas. In fact, we love being proven wrong if it means we learn something new. But sometimes we forget that not everyone feels this way. A lot of INTJs told me no one gets them gifts that they really like. But, when I asked what kind of gifts they do like, there was no clear trend. The only trend was that INTJs are picky.
So, the best way to shop for an INTJ? Directly ask the INTJ what they want. INTJs like useful presents. Most of us hate surprises.